The Liquored Up Low Down: A Bizarre News Podcast
The most entertaining news stories aren't always on page one, and there's a good chance you missed the best of the best. The Liquored Up Low Down collects the finest obscure news stories, steeps them in alcohol, and passes them on to you, so you can stay informed and up to date on the most useless current events of the week.The cocktails are mixed and the Low Down is about to begin!
Episodes
24 episodes
Death of a Fart Commander, Axes and Alcohol, and Rover the Alligator
Perhaps there really was an Israeli Mossad Commander whose name translates to "Made A Fart" and he got into military operations because high school was so terribly, terribly hard for him.
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30:36
Unsafe Babies, Mutant Rage Hamsters, and Bear Wrassling
In this week's episode, learn about one practically perfect safety product for infants and toddlers, flawless with the exception of one small design flaw:
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26:36
Criminal Cats, Penis Plants, and Fake Snakes
Cats are being locked down in a town in Germany because they like to eat endangered birds. At last, we have located the species responsible for environmental problems. Good thing we know where the fault lies! https://boingboing.net/202...
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Season 1
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Episode 22
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25:18
Killing People Can Be Fatal, Cheese Fraud Protection, and Bald C*nts
In case you didn't know, killing people can be bad for you. The process of body disposal can be quite exerting, so be sure to check with your doctor and ensure you're healthy enough to bury someone before you murder. In other news, you'll be ab...
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Season 1
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Episode 21
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22:22
Open House Sexy Times, GPS + Alcohol + Stairs = Story, Florida Doesn't Like Poop or Butt Stuff on Vanity Plates, Inherit the Wind But With Cats
First we talk about two Real Estate Agents who have some sexy times during an alleged Open House. Then we move on to a woman who drove down stairs because her GPS told her to. Florida does not like Farts or Butt stuff on the Vanity plates. We t...
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Season 1
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Episode 20
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38:05
Drinking Your Own Pee is Good for You, Parent-Teacher Conferences with a Carnie, Buy Some Invisible Art, Fictosexual Software Development, Shocker: Electricity Can Kill You
We're drinking Martini's again, which succeeded in making Tom REALLY drunk. We first talk about a man who drinks his own pee. We then talk about the world's most terrifying teacher. An Art Collector buys a very expensive receipt from invisible ...
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Season 1
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Episode 19
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30:21
The Great Pit Toilet Rescue, Murder Novelist Goes on Trial for Murder, Blockbuster Part 2, The Sad Tale of Jerry Anus, A PSA About Nutrition Labels
We first talk about Pit Toilets and how your phone will just be replaced . . . they just give you a new one, right? A Romance Novelist who wrote an essay on how to kill your husband is going on trial for (allegedly) killing her husband. Bryan t...
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Season 1
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Episode 18
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32:08
The Coffin Confessor A-Hole, The World's Biggest Trash Party, Take Cover Because John Hinckley Jr. is On Tour! What Kid Wouldn't Want to Go to Cementland?
First, we delve into the cottage industry of being a jerk at Funerals by speaking for the dead and telling the living things they may not know about the deceased. Next we tally up items from the most recent cleanup of Jersey Beaches and count u...
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Season 1
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Episode 17
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40:31
The OCD Hoarder, Threesome Sex Robots, The Canadian Racist, PSA: It's OK to Fart in Front of Your Boyfriend, Accidental Millions
We start with a hoarder who does a surprisingly good job of burying his mom and his sister. Did you know that most people would be OK with a sex robot as a third partner? There are racists in Canada, and they are not polite. One woman loses her...
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Season 1
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Episode 16
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37:11
Do You Speak "Dog"? McBreatharianism. You Laundered Money How? A Racist Learns How Laws Work. (Bad) Parents on a Plane.
Bryan tries to help Tom with his "barking dogs" problem. Did you know that McDonalds locations are part of a 5th Dimensional Plane of existence? Laundering money through Earth, Wind and Fire covers. A racist gets her comeuppance. "Here, you tak...
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Season 1
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Episode 15
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1:00:05
The Great Fajita Thief, Super Mario: Cruise Ship Edition, Ambassador Kid Rock, The Japanese Man Who Takes Your Burdens Away, "The Man" DJ's Lollapalooza
We start with The Fajita Thief and talk about what's the Gentlemanly thing to do with $1.2M dollars of Fajitas. Bryan's met Super Mario: the man who jumps cruise ship to cruise ship. Ambassador Kid Rock (thankfully) refrains from telling DJT wh...
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Season 1
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Episode 14
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1:03:28
Snakes in a Wine Bottle, The Pretentious Drink-Meat Experience, Police Will Validate Your Meth in Florida, The One True Ranch to Rule Them All, Printable Balls
Did you know that snakes can go dormant for years and then bite a mother fucker? Tom brings you your food porn with a pretentious Italian Chef. We throw you some red meat: a Florida Man story about meth and dumbness. Hidden Valley Ranch gets in...
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Season 1
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Episode 13
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1:05:22
The Bus Tour from Hell, The Golden (Cadbury) Egg, How Did That World War 2 Munition Get Up There?, Poutine is not Putin You Morons
We start with a harrowing Bus Ride heading down to Robben Island. Fans of money and Cadbury Eggs will like the story about a man who gobbled down a rare Cadbury egg but didn't get the prize money. We then get into our first story about someone ...
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Season 1
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Episode 12
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1:05:00
The Hipster Irony, Be a Bear Whisperer, The Dog Food Vegetarian Experiment, Can You Call Dibs on Baby Names?, TSA Comfort Chainsaw
This week we try to find a job for Tom. A man thought a picture of a hipster was a stolen image of him, but it wasn't (the irony!). There is a job opening in Montana as a Bear Whisperer. A dog food company is paying people to sniff their own do...
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Season 1
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Episode 11
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1:13:25
One Word Sends People to Hell, "I am Here for the Interview . . . . Cool Tip Jar", Here's My Application and My Period Tracker, She Will Not Be Ignored
Did you know that using the wrong incantation as a Priest can make people go to Hell? "I am here for the interview . . . . cool tip jar." Our 3rd story is about attaching the wrong thing to your job application. Fatal attraction out there in Wy...
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Season 1
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Episode 10
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1:01:11
Frîtes . . . By Idaho, The Tesla Tussle, The Sorcerer and the Nail, Yes He's the A-hole, Kid Goes Back to Cali to Buy a Lamborghini with $3
Looking for a great Valentine's Day gift? Try the latest perfume . . . Frîtes . . . By Idaho. Did you know that Tesla's don't drive themselves? In the year 2022, someone uses the word "Sorcerer" in a Press Conference non-ironically. Husband upg...
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Season 1
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Episode 9
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1:08:51
Dogs as Zombie Detection, Meat Vending Machines, Sicario Bologna, The Pretentious Gold Cube Artist, Showdown at the Golden Corral
Our accidental theme this week is Dogs and Meats. Our first story includes an "expert" on dogs' olfactory senses and their ability to sniff out zombies. Our second story is about meat-based vending machines in Germany and Singapore (thanks, COV...
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Season 1
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Episode 8
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1:03:58
Certified Haunted Dolls, How Not to Adopt a Baby, Batman Steals from a Church, Garden Torches as Snow Removal, Irish Fisherman Don't F Around
It turns out all those horror movies about haunted dolls are real. Buying a baby from a stranger is not really the way to go, especially at a Wal Mart. Did you know that some churches have Batman suits? Garden Torches are not good for clearing ...
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Season 1
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Episode 7
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44:24
The Sex Doll Divorcé, The Alcatraz Guys Overcomplicated Things, You Must Be This Tall To Be A Hero, LAPD = "LA, Pokémon Department"
This week we discuss the fate of Margo, the Divorced Sex Doll and what she's missing from Yuri, her very flamboyant ex. A dog that can ride the train is framed for pooping there for Political reasons, apparently. Did you know that just saying y...
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Season 1
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Episode 6
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55:12
The Fart Jar Con, Earth Gets a Black Box, The Lickable TV, Hamsters are Boozehounds, and Bryan Owes Humanity a Baby
This episode is packed with the most serious of topics: everything from science to dystopia to farts. We start with an in-depth discussion of fart jar science and connoisseurship. We then learn that the Earth is getting a Black Box (like in pla...
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Season 1
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Episode 5
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1:07:05
Lies and Parenticide, A Politician Thinks the World is His Kindergarten, Crazy Girlfriend Facetime, Alexa Tries to Kill a Girl
Not even the fake jobs for Millennials work out with our first story. A Politician thinks the world is his Kindergarten when he tries to pants a fellow adult. A girlfriend doesn't trust women around her boyfriend (allegedly) and makes him Facet...
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Season 1
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Episode 4
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48:58
The New Years Episode: The Great Amish Getaway, The Finger Gun Bandit, The Mad Pooper, and Satan is a Scrooge
This episode comes close to having a common theme: Alcohol, Poop, and The First Amendment. Did you know that the Amish have tricked out Buggies? A Florida Man does Florida Things (you're welcome). The Mad Pooper "terrorizes" a neighborhood. Sat...
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Season 1
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Episode 3
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1:01:43
A MILF Goes to College, The Bus-Riding Bank Robber, Bearded Sky Gods and Masturbation, and How to Get "Snow Globed"
A 45 year old woman poses as her own 22 year old daughter and goes to college for two years. Then we solve the problem of teachers having to pay for their own supplies. We tell the saga of the Bank Robber who took his loot back to the same bank...
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Season 1
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Episode 2
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47:55
Astronaut Poop, Suicide Pods, PhD Witches, and Getting Shot in the Vagina
We ask many drunken questions in our very first episode: What do astronauts do when their toilet breaks? WTF is a Suicide Pod? Does Yale offer a program for getting a PhD in Life Coaching? What kind of reconstructive surgery is involved with a ...
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Season 1
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Episode 1
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47:52